Losing my first three games of this tournament ("castling queenside" 0-0-0 as mentioned in Annotated Game #236) was a low point in my chess career, something I recognized I needed to deal with mentally. I've never withdrawn from a tournament and personally don't believe in doing so, unless there is some unavoidable external reason (family emergency, serious illness, or the like). By withdrawing there is also no chance of redemption. Achieving mental toughness in competition means that previous bad outcomes - whether a mistake within a game, a previous loss, or a poor overall tournament result - have to be accepted and then put aside, in favor of focusing on playing as well as possible in the moment.
The below game is far from clean, but it does highlight some positives as well as several areas for improvement.
The below game is far from clean, but it does highlight some positives as well as several areas for improvement.
- As Black in a Caro-Kann Advance variation, I easily achieve equality out of the opening, although I could have done better at several points, as the position ends up being rather sterile.
- My opponent makes a weakening move in the early middlegame, which I exploit for a small advantage.
- The turning point comes after I come up with a bad plan (featuring 28...f5?) which also highlights a general weakness in my game, of not properly evaluating the circumstances behind f-pawn pushes.
- I get lucky when my opponent misses a winning tactic for White. Both of us were too focused on the situation with the weak e6 pawn to see it.
- I do a better job of evaluating the position after my opponent technically is able to win material (two rooks and pawn for the queen), but I get much better dynamic chances, as my queen combines well with my remaining knight against White's exposed king. The pressure then rattles my opponent into dropping a rook and the game.
In terms of redeeming my tournament performance and keeping my Class A rating, this was a must-win game. Part of the mental preparation for it, however, was paradoxically accepting that I could lose, and that my chess career would not be over as a result. The fact that one of my previous losses had actually been a well-played game against a master (Annotated Game #234) also was helpful, even though disappointing, as it showed my play had not been uniformly terrible. The nature of Swiss system tournaments, in which your opponent always is in a similar position in terms of results, also contributes to the chances of coming back from a bad start: they are likely to be just as depressed as you are, so if you can adjust your attitude to be more positive, you may enjoy a certain psychological advantage.
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